This week a customer wrote me asking for advice around Spellcrafting that involves another person. Particularly the Spell she was working on was possibly going to include the name of the man she wanted to spark a romantic relationship with.
After replying to this customer, I thought I would share with you all my response. It’s not a ‘typical’ response from the Witchcrafting world. As in, what I feel strongly about in regard to the crafting and action of a Spell is by no means popular theory.
Of course, if you wanted the popular theory, I would imagine you’d be over at Amazon purchasing whatever quick spewed out manuscripts for love and light and making friends who think you’re cool that you could get your hands on. But you’re not. You’re here, with me and due to that I can only assume that you’re looking for something a bit less ‘sweetness and light’ and a bit more ‘Truth style’. That’s how the R.E.b.E.L.s roll.
So here below is my response, which I’ve edited a little to add a bit more info about where I’m coming from for anyone who might be confused. Enjoy loves.
My Response to Bec :
The whole question of specific person love spells comes down to what you really truly absolutely want to ask for.
If you ask for this person, and he is not really truly absolutely the love of your life, you might not have the experience you’re hoping for. If you ask the Universe for ‘my really truly absolutely love of my life’ to show up, then it might not end up being this dude you’re thinking of, but it might actually be much more perfect.
I don’t personally believe in consequences. This is not a popular idea in ‘witchy’ groups, but that’s me. Go and look up any popular witchcrafting site and you’ll find the terms ‘Wiccan Rede’, ‘If it harm none’, and ‘comes back to you three times three’. As far as I’m concerned though, it’s just a nice overlay to make people feel good about making serious change in the world. We wouldn’t want to scare people now to actually believe that they CAN BE THE CHANGE they want to see in the world. (alright that’s the end of my sarcasm, I don’t really like it anyway) Most people are actually still too afraid to live outside of anyone specific dogma. So those kind of rules are good for them.
Consequences engage a Right vs Wrong mindset, which just isn’t real Universal lore.
What we have is choice. Each situation presents us with a new choice. If we choose ABC, then XYZ happens. If we don’t choose ABC, something else might happen, OR we may just continue along the path of meeting choices until we find the one that is actually going to benefit most in the moment.
Do I think you should do a love spell while naming a specific person? My opinion is ‘if it’s right for you’. You will know. Ask the question :
- If I choose this what will my life Be in two years time?
- If I don’t choose this what will my life Be in two years time?
And feel into those questions to define which feels heavier or lighter. If it’s light, I’d be going with that option. Heavy means it will probably bring up more difficulty and less of true happiness. Basically, if it’s light its Truth, if it’s heavy its a lie for YOU. Have a play with this concept and see where it takes you.
Specifically named spells have been cast since the beginning of time. It’s not new. It’s a fairly new idea to say we shouldn’t do them and then put all these convoluted rules around it with prescribed consequences. You know, the church once said women were not allowed to sing. But we did before that rule, and we still do now so…. just because someone else says it’s not okay, doesn’t mean it has to be true for you.”
That’s what I said to my client. I hope she goes ahead and makes awweeesssoomme Magick and has a wild tale to tell. That little letter got me on a roll and here are some other thoughts I’d like to share with you – just in case you haven’t had enough of me yet!
Truly awweeesssoomme people are not going to do awful things. Like, it’s just not what we do. Awful people who are stuck in their own SHIT (Stuff that Haunts you Into Tomorrow) and don’t care for the typical niceties of society, are going to do what they want, and they are not going to take heed to any dogmatic rules anyway.
So, the dogma and the multiplicands of how many times energy will come back to you are only to control those who are already under control. In other words, all the Redes and bound promises you can recite don’t matter in the Real World. What matters is how you live, the choices you make, what you do and most of all what you BE.
The other argument that many witchy people seem convinced they have to push back and forth is around ethics and personal choice and whether it is appropriate to make magick that affects someone else. News Flash ::: all magick affects someone else. And doesn’t at the same time.
Because that Choice thing I was talking about before, is available to us all. No one person has more right or ability to choose than other, they just have to engage with choice. You are not the maker of anyone else’s Destiny, and it ain’t matter a shit how many Spells you do to get something to happen. It’s the way Universe works. It’s energy. It flows. It doesn’t have a right or wrong tag on it. It just is.
Are you wondering what I would personally do in that situation? So I’m going to tell you anyway ha!
Over the years I have crafted some pretty power-full love Spells, healing Spells and yep, even some ultra-rad hexes. Ooh ahh! We’re not supposed to say that right? Pfft. This Indigo Mama has no poker face. I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that I just don’t do all the politically correct rubbish around Spell Crafting that has filtered down from people who still subscribe to a ‘the Gods will punish us’ mindset. I’m not hiding anything from you. But I will throw in a disclaimer that at that time, I’d been using the tools of Magick for more than ten years and working in an environment where I was engaged in the process of Magick everyday, all day. These kind of Spells are not for the faint hearted.
Have I had a heap of bad shit come at me for those hexes? Not that I’m aware of. I mean, bad shit has happened in my life, if I want to call it that. Or I could look at it as new awareness and consciousness has opened for me because of the choices I made with my magick. Lucky I’ve got broad shoulders, and I know how to process my SHIT. But no, there isn’t any one thing I would point at and say ‘because I cast that hex on those neighbours who used to be my closest friends and began to cause all sorts of drama for me, all these terrible things happened in my life’. Rather, the hex I crafted removed those people from my life entirely, and this is the first time I’ve thought about them in at least five years – AND life has only ever got better and better since that time in my life.
Why? Because I made choice.
Before I met my husband, who really truly absolutely is the love of my life I performed a heap of different Magickal processes, healing ceremonies and calling in Spells to find him. I didn’t know it was him. In fact, I didn’t even know it was him when he was trying to ask me out on a date. I just knew, that I had called in my Twin Flame, and I was going to take the opportunities that presented themselves to me, where it felt good, so as to be able to continue the journey. I also met other men at the same time. But the choices I made, led me here, where I am right now.
Where I am right now is fabulous.
Would I hex again? Probably not. I don’t have the kind of toxic people in my life as I did eight years ago. I don’t have much charge around the concepts of protecting and deflecting. My psychic awareness has only got stronger over the years, and I can sniff out people who are full of shit way before they come close enough to be able to affect me.
That’s what experience has done for me. It’s not that I’m anymore magicker than you. I’ve simply done the work. A freaking lot of it. And I’m willing to keep working.
But if there were a need, and it felt light, and fun, and I believed I could disengage with the process as soon as it was over with ease, then yep I would do it again. It’s another choice for another day, and I’m not going to get caught up in the decision now.
The way I Spell Craft has changed over the years. The things that work are ingrained in my psyche from years of practise. It something that is part of my everyday being, without necessarily being anything at all. It’s a part of me now.
I prefer active ceremony and labyrinth walking and sacred altar building where I can mound up a whole heap of colour and symbols and a statue of Goddess and herbes and stones and any other curios that hold the energy of my intention, whether it be for money or love or health or whatever. They look pretty and are scattered around our living space, in my car and anywhere else that calls out a need.
My Magick is made up of processes that clear and break through the emotional blockages, inspired by my study of Access Consciousness over the last few years, that are then supported with all the botanical and curios of traditional Spellcrafting. I sing and chant throughout my day.
These are all what I call open-eye Magick.
I use talismans and sigils more often than I go about collecting perfectly balanced elementally charged and text book recommended herbes from my apothecary. Partly that’s because I’m lazy and the apothecary is across the other side of the paddock. But even that’s a judgement you see, and the real truth is that I am so much more deeply connected to the land and the energy of where I’m at right Now that most of the time, it just isn’t necessary.
I used to teach that we have to ask the Universe very clearly for what we want. My SpellCrafting workshops always included a session on the need to make very care-full with our language so that it is all positive and proper. Now though, when I want something from the Universe, I don’t ask for it directly. Access has taught me to ask the Universe what it can bring me, instead of telling it what I want. That way, the language is always positive, and instead of forcing whatever human judgement I have on the current decision I am simply asking the Universe to bring me into the awareness of the choices I can make. By testing the energy with the questions :
- If I choose this what will my life Be in two/three/five/ten years time?
- If I don’t choose this what will my life Be in two/three/five/ten years time?
I can actually enter each possible outcome with my feeling – with my OWN INDIVIDUAL TRUTH, and everything else that’s not needed, simply falls away.
And the best Spell of all is in these words :
- Universe, how can this get any better?
By asking this question we simply open ourselves to the possibilities. The consciousness can be accessed. We enter the awareness. And Magick does happen.
So, in my long winded way what I’m saying to you is that if you ask different witches about what’s appropriate in Spellcrafting, you will receive different answers, and this is where I stand. I did my first Spell when I was fourteen years old with my friend Bianca from Ray Buckland’s big blue Wicca book. I’ve learned a lot in those (almost) twenty years. I don’t follow one set of rules. I work from what I know, from my own practise and learning. I can’t say whether it will work for anyone else.
I take Magick seriously, as in, I believe in it. I don’t have any need to prove myself to anyone anymore.
When I was in my shop I often felt that I had to prove that I knew what I was talking about. Afterall I was studying and practising all day everyday, and I was ‘supposed’ to be someone who could impart great wisdom because I was fronting this shop all about witchy business and Magick. And for the most part I did know a whole heap of stuff and taught lots of people great things. I was also in my twenties then. Oh how things change from our twenties to our thirties right? Yep I know I’ll be saying that again when I’m on my forties, but I’m content with this for now.
I believe in free will. I don’t believe in numbers or consequences or right and wrong / good and bad energy. I believe that energy is what it is, and when I DO Magick, I do what feels right. And I don’t actually give a rats’ what anyone else does in their own magickal practise. I like to help clients and share my ideas with R.E.b.E.L.s who come to my workshops, and that’s as far as my interest in anyone else’s magick goes. Your magick is not my journey, anymore than my magick is yours – yet you still got to the end of this epic article and for that I applaud you haha!